Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Baseball season is almost here

Just because I used to be able to do things like this....

in my dreams.....

Glen Beck had better never get a ticket in CT

Ya gotta click here and watch this. Beck takes no prisoners.

The Obama God

You may not know this, dear chums, but I am one of the most humble people you will ever know of. Indeed there are times in which I am convinced that I know absolutely nothing about nothing.

But from now on when I feel exceedingly dumb, I will read this.

Last summer, San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford wrote that "Many spiritually advanced people I know … identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who … can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet."

Yes, this was written by a man who presumably graduated from college. Now, tell me how much your degree has fallen in value....

And in February, author Judith Warner used her New York Times blog to confess that “The other night I dreamt of Barack Obama. He was taking a shower right when I needed to get into the bathroom to shave my legs.”

Is there nothing that female Leftie authors won't tell us about their wet dreams?

Judy, Judy, Judy... Sweetheart, we just don't care.

"I’ll collect paper cups off the ground to make [Obama’s] pathway clear,” Halle Berry recently told the Philadelphia Daily News, “I’ll do whatever he says.”

Be careful Ms Berry, he says a lot, but needs a teleprompter or he becomes confused. Perhaps you and Ms Warner need to talk.

But the one that gets me up and going, no matter how convinced I am of my total inabilities...

Obama "walks into a room and you want to follow him somewhere, anywhere," George Clooney gushed to Charlie Rose.

George! Listen to me, George! George! He's a man for God's sake. Also see my advice to Ms Berry.


Power windows

You can also ride around during a hot southern day with the windows up to make everyone think you have airconditioning.

Hat tip to Jimmy M!

Your new GM car as designed by Obamie

The Obamieville!

Hat tip to Jimmy M!

Road trip!

Random thoughts from a road trip while on a road trip!

If this global warming gets any worse I’ll have to stop and put on my snow tires.

Denver has built a fantastic high speed train from the ‘burbs to down town…. Yet the train stops are evaluated and have no protection from the elements…. Yes, the plan was approved by the government….. Does that tell you what kind of car the Obamieville will be?

The driving habits of the average I470 driver in KC would get them shot in LA…. And I would testify on behalf of the shooter.

Anybody who has ever thought “tumbling tumbleweeds” a romantic phrase has never had them tumbling into the side of their car because of a 40 MPH cross wind.

If I stop to put on my snow tires will I be able to see the rear of the car in all this global warming?

Funny is discovering where you use to work has been converted into a game arcade…. Of course it always was a game arcade…..

Hotel and high speed internet is an oxymoron.

Traffic density is directly proportional to weather conditions.

Any vehicle that pulls three trailers should be called a train and have its own tracks and roadbed.

Did you ever hear tell of Sweet Betsy from Pike,
Who crossed the wide mountains with her lover Ike,
Two yoke of cattle, a large yeller dog,
A tall Shanghai rooster, and a one-spotted hog.

They swam the wide rivers and crossed the tall peaks,
And camped on the prairie for weeks upon weeks.
Starvation and cholera, hard work and slaughter--
They reached California 'spite of hell and high water.

Sad to say, the story ends badly…

This Pike County couple got married, of course,
But Ike became jealous, and obtained a divorce.
Betsy, well-satisfied, said with a shout,
"Goodby, you big lummox, I'm glad you backed out!’

Was it because?

A miner said, "Betsy, will you dance with me?"
"I will that, old hoss, if you don't make too free.
Don't dance me hard, do you want to know why?
Doggone you, I'm chock-full of strong alkali."

Sweet Betsy from Pike

And now you know the history of the first Valley Girl.

And the best song ever written about her Great Great Grandaughter…

Hollywood Nights

And finally…….

Whoever designed the transition from I105E to I5S should be slathered with honey and staked out over a colony of fire ants. Make those angry fire ants.