Friday, December 5, 2008

Guns and guns

You can blame Mike L for this.

The purpose of fighting is to win.

The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either.. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and ask ed him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.

It has been my experience that most people with a pistol are hazardous only to themselves and innocent bystanders. Plus the smaller versions have been known to only kill someone after they have been shot six or seven times and then only hours later. I don't plan on shooting anyone, but if I ever feel I have to I want to do a complete and thorough job. Shotguns require no particular expertise to hit something, that is with buck shot, and the pump version requires a definitive action to chamber a round which also produces an attention getting sound. So this is my favorite:

6. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun.'

7. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!

But wait, there's more!

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. I said I did. She said 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!' To which I said, of course it is loaded, can't work without bullets!' She then asked, 'Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?' My reply was, 'No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.' To which I'll add, having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank.

Introduction of STD in England

I doubt that many of you will be reading TelecomTV news so I give you this information on the introduction of STD into Great Britain. The writer, who most likely is English, seems unaware of the difference between US STD's and English STD.

But then any country who drinks their beer at room temperature, which isn't too bad since room temperature in most English pubs I have visited was around 40 degrees F, drive on the wrong side of the road and invented "round abouts," needs to be watched with a measured and careful stare.

(Don't go postal on me dear cousins, I am in fact a huge fan of all things English except your demonstrated desire to turn your country into a Islamic theocracy.)

So, to the first. Back on December 5, 1958 the inaugural British phone call to be made without the intervention of an operator sat there in an exchange and physically competing the switching and connection was made when Queen Elizabeth II inaugurated STD - Subscriber Trunk Dialing.

It happened in the main exchange of the venerable West Country city of Bristol when the Queen made an STD call directly to the Lord Provost of Edinburgh, Scotland. At a distance of somewhere over the 300 mile mark, the call covered that greatest distance that was then available with the new technology.

The call began with the sovereign saying, "Hello, This is the Queen speaking from Bristol. Good Afternoon, my Lord Provost." The thoroughly stilted and artificial conversation lasted for two minutes and five seconds and yes, the Queen actually did do the dialing all on her own and without a body double.