Happening's

Loading...
Loading...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Church Bulletins


They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank heavens for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals...

--------------------------

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

--------------------------


Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

--------------------------

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you..

--------------------------


Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

--------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

--------------------------

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

--------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.. Music will follow.

------------------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice ..

--------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
-------------------------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow..
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin..
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
-------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
-------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.
-------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours

Hat tip to Jimmy M!



submit to reddit

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

Democrat Party!



Click on picture to enlarge.

I picked this up over at GOC and can't resist posting it. Someone went to a lot, and I do mean a lot, of trouble doing this.

It came from here.

You can play a drinking game... every time you ID a Demo, have a drink. Hopefully of a good Cabernet!

submit to reddit


On Twitter I am Lesabre1

He will restore our dignity in Europe


Two boys pose in front of a carnival float representing U.S. President Barack Obama, with the words 'Obama as liberator' on his shirt, is pictured during the traditional Rose Monday carnival parade in the western German city of Duesseldorf February 15, 2010. The Rose Monday parades in Cologne, Mainz and Duesseldorf are the highlight of the German street carnival season.


Link

Hmmmm, The Chosen One is shown upside down.....

Where did the love go?


submit to reddit

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

An explanation as to why the Left hates Palin


The fear exhibited by the Leftie Population, not only here but nationwide, is like nothing I have seen in my 70 plus years.

The nearest thing I can think of having actually seen, was the reaction of a group of under performing sales people to the addition of a high performance sales person to the group. But even that, though similar, was no where near as viscous and dishonest, even though careers were on the line, as what Palin brings out.

I think part of it is politics. Palin has reached a large group of people that the Right was not reaching and provided focus. This frightens the Left because both sides must command the middle to win, and the Left is now losing that battle.

Part of it is hatred of women by some men. Like hatred of Jews, some Lefties pick it up and carry it all of their lives.

Part of it is jealousy by women. Especially women who have embraced the Leftie belief system that they are limited by the "system" as to what they can do.

But most of it is fear they will lose power and no longer command the attention and audience that has given them fame and fortune. This extends all the way down from the Gollywooders and chattering class to the bloggers who have started rumors and lied in the hopes that they will be noticed by the minions at MSNBC and CNN.

People hate things they fear.

And since it is not possible to explain all of this every time it is needed to be done, I have coined three new words.

Sarahphobic or Saraphobia or Sarahphobe.




submit to reddit

On Twitter I am Lesabre1