Friday, July 9, 2010

QUESTIONS THAT WILL HAUNT YOU





If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or
shoplifting?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can you cry under water?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"..... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What disease did cured ham actually have?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every Two hours?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Hat tip to Jimmy M.

submit to reddit OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt