Paranoia becomes me..

I know, I know. But I just can't resist.

You are aware, probably, that Barack Obama lost his bearings recently and
said that he was going to campaign in all 57 states.

You heard this? And everybody chalked it up to, 'Well, he's tired.'

You know, this is a Dan Quayle moment. I mean, Dan Quayle goes out there
and misspells 'potato,' and we still hear jokes about it.

Barack Obama says he's gonna go out and campaign in 57 states, he was just
tired, you know, it's been such a long campaign, he's been so many
places,he probably thinks there are 57 states.

Well, I have here a printout from a web site called the International
Humanist and Ethical Union.
And here is how the second paragraph of an article on that website begins.

'Every year from 1999 to 2005 the organization of the Islamic conference
representing the 57 Islamic states presented a resolution to the United
Nations Commission on human rights called commbating.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organisation_of_the_Islamic_Conference

Obama said he's going to campaign in 57 states, and it turns out that there
are 57 Islamic states. There are 57 Islamic states.


So did Obama just lose his bearings, or was this a more telling slip,
ladies and gentlemen?

Hat tip to Larry P.

Philosophy of Ambiguity ...

Mike L rides again:

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?

29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

Well said

And again a hat tip to Jimmy M.

Subject: FW: A Soldier's Blog On Clark 's Comments--Amen, Brother!

This troop has him "pegged" -- too bad he can't sign it.......
-------------------------------------------------

This came from Shreveport Times Web site

Posted 7/1/2008 on shreveporttimes.com

As an officer serving in America 's uniformed services, I maintain a strict personal code of nonpartisan politics. Of course I have my opinions about politics and favorite local, state and national candidates, but only my immediate family knows my thoughts and opinions on politics. I do not openly or publicly endorse nor campaign for any particular politician or political party, nor will I ever do so for as long as I wear the uniform. I firmly believe officers serving the nation must remain apolitical in all that we say, write and do. But I feel compelled to share with you gentle readers the simultaneous reaction of hundreds of military personnel yesterday when retired General Wes Clark-Senator Barak Obama's military advisor-publicly questioned Senator John McCain's ability to make decisions and serve as Commander-in-Chief.

First, I will be upfront and ca ndidly inform you I am equally indifferent toward the two candidates. This post isn't to compare or contrast either in a more or less favorable light; but I absolutely detest retired General Wes Clark. I have loathed him (as I suspect do most of his former subordinates) since I had the unfortunate experience of serving under his command in the Balkans in the 1990s. That being frankly disclosed, allow me to paint a picture for you. Imagine several hundred hungry men and women representing all the armed services, from new privates to crusty old Colonels, sitting in a dining facility about the size of a school gymnasium in hot, dusty Afghanistan . The big screen televisions in the corners are all tuned to CNN and retired General Wesley Clark appears on the screen.

The text underneath read in bold red letters "Clark questions McCain's ability to lead the military" The gist of Clark 's interview was that McCain is a war hero, but "hasn't held executive responsibility, and has no experience making tough military decisions".

Surely retired General Clark can't really expect the American people to buy the load of manure he's shoveling, but he's well-known throughout the military as one extremely accomplished and gifted manure-shoveling S.O.B.

The only other time I've heard a military dining facility suddenly become so eerily quiet was at Camp Comanche , Bosnia on September 11, 2001 when we all watched the live CNN feed of the second airliner crashing into the WTC.

Within seconds the "He really didn't just say what we all heard him just say, did he?" chuckles of disbelief became a roar of laughter. Even die hard Obama fans in the room were shaking their heads in disbelief someone would be foolish enough to compare John McCain's military abilities or experience on any level with the first term Senator from Illinois .

McCain and Obama-the first name belongs to a decorated combat veteran with Silver Stars, Distinguished Fl ying Crosses, Purple Hearts, Bronze Stars.a War College graduate with a masters Degree in National Security Strategy.the guy who served 22 years in the military and declined promotion to Rear Admiral to retire as a disabled Navy Captain (Colonel), and who has since served over a quarter century in the U.S. Congress and Senate-including 21 years as a member on the Senate Armed Services Committee. The second name is a man with a sound education, an accomplished lawyer, a community leader and state legislator, and someone who has never served a single day in the U.S. military, and who has absolutely no working concept about how the military or national strategic policy works, and hasn't even finished his first term as a U.S. Senator. I'm not saying either candidate is "better" than the other based just on those facts. I am merely pointing out that retired General Clark obviously thinks we Americans are either too stupid, or too
lazy to bother thinking for ourselves. His vanity and pomposity remains just the same as a civilian as when he wore a uniform.

For retired General Clark to compare these two men using the words "military", "leadership" and experience" indicates one of two things: he's suffering from a traumatic brain embolism and should seek immediate emergency attention by skilled doctors; or he feels toward the American people the same condescension and narcissistic intellectual superiority he did toward his subordinates and peers while he served on active duty. He sure looks healthy-it must be the latter.

Does retired General Clark really regard the American population to be so incredibly stupid they would for a moment believe Senator Obama somehow has better military and leadership experience than Senator McCain? Apparently, yes, he does. Sad, isn't it?

As I explained, I don't pretend to respect, much less like retired General Clark. I despise him. I have personally experienced his vain, self-centered, arrogance, his famous egotistical personality and intolerable, hateful style of command-not to mention his lack of integrity and character flaws that got him removed early from his assignment as the Supreme Allied Commander Europe during the Kosovo Campaign. Those like retired General Clark only worry about their own welfare and career progression, and thus earn little respect by their peers and subordinates alike. His attempt to sling a little mud by somehow insinuating Senator Obama would make a better "military leader" and "decision maker" than Senator McCain is about par for his usual exalted and self-centered hypocrisy.

If I might offer a brief word of advice to the good Senator from Illinois , "Sir, do not associate yourself with retired General Wes Clark if you desire respect from military voters. You had the intuitiveness and correct sense to distance yourself from Reverend Wright-do the same with General Clark" But alas, Presidential candidates rarely listen to crusty old officers from the old school. I will be looking to see what "spin" band aid the Senator's (Obama) campaign staff applies to the General Clark hemorrhage in today's news.

Finally, in contrast to retired General Clark, I have sincere and interminable faith my fellow citizens will use their intellect to study the facts and make a well-informed and fair decision on their own before they walk into the voting booths this coming November. We certainly do not require a conniving fraud like retired general Clark to shape our opinions and try to herd us like sheep. His only interest is his own career aspirations. He cared little for his country and even less for the US service members under his command while he wore a uniform; and I don't believe he cares anymore about America or her citizens now that he has traded his Army greens for a Brooks Brothers suit.

I don't believe America is the herd of dumb sheep he conceitedly thinks we are.