Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Cheap seats

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in a while, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK.. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

Hat tip tp Jimmy M!

The latest on Artic Climate Change from the Royal Society

‘It will, without doubt, have come to your Lordship’s knowledge that a considerable change of climate, inexplicable at present to us, must have taken place in the Circumpolar Regions, by which the severity of the cold that has for centuries past enclosed the seas in the high northern latitudes in an impenetrable barrier of ice, has been during the last two years greatly abated. This affords ample proof that new sources of warmth have been opened, and give us leave to hope that the Arctic Seas may at this time be more accessible than they have been for centuries past, and that discoveries may now be made in them, not only interesting to the advancement of science, but also to the future intercourse of mankind and the commerce of distant nations.’

I urge you to read this link thoroughly for the complete picture.

There is nothing like keeping up on all the facts.

Federals stay home!!!

So here I am in the dentist's office watching FNC while waiting.... yes, he has FNC and that's one of the reason's I chose him.....and the Talking Heads started rambling on about how bad it is that Vegas and Orlando are having US government vacations...oops conventions...oops educational seminars cancelled because it looks bad for the government employees to be in Vegas while the ordinary citizen is in an unemployment line.

They even had the Guv of Nevada on and some Chamber of Commerce type on explaining how they had great deals and people in Vegas were unemployed...

Which I think is very funny because it was the hotel unions who were such big supporters of Obamie... (Hey, got what you asked for, eh???)

I have been to a bunch of conventions and trade shows in Vegas and everyone hated it because the customer base was always lower than normal because... are you ready?? They were playing golf, laying by the pool, gambling and sight seeing! Of course you could always find one or two to take to a show or lunch... Funny how that works.

Of course I know the government type meetings are for pure education (same reason I read Playboy 20 years ago)and there are no vendor types around... And that they now must go to GASP!!!!!!!!! Phoenix instead.

Oh the pain! The Humanity!

But really, why do they have these meetings at all??

Stay home!!!! Fire the consultants! Use the Internet! Do like the rest of us do when we are broke.

Don't take vacations.

100 Best Movie Lines Ever in 200 Seconds

100 Best Movie Lines Ever in 200 Seconds Video here

Saw it at Saw it at Big Dick's Place

Big Dick thought those nailed them... I think not... In no particular order and may not be exactly right..

Pay no attention to the man behind the screen - The Wizard in "The Wizard of Oz"

I'm my favorite General - Patton in "Patton."

No prisoners! - Lawrence in "Lawrence of Arabia!"

"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" - Mae West in "Sextette."

Fill your hands you son of a bitches! - Rooster Cogburn in "True Grit."

Oh well, tomorrow is another day - Scarlet in "Gone with the Wind."

Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore - Dorthy in "The Wizard of Oz."

And my all time favorite!

Well lady, come and see a fat old man! - Rooster Cogburn as he has his horse jump a fence and he rides off.. "True Grit's" closing line.

Road Closures

For those of you, who might be considering a road trip, be advised: portions of I-64, I-70, I-29, and I-90 will be closed this weekend. Expect long delays along these interstate highways plus major traffic disruptions in Charleston, WV, Louisville, KY, St Louis, MO, Kansas City, MO, and Omaha, NE.
A 500-ton piece of coal is being moved from West Virginia to South Dakota so that Barack H. Obama can be added to Mount Rushmore.

Jimmy M made me do it!

Another example of Biden stupidity

Can you imagine how the Lefties would swoon if Cheney had said this?

MOSCOW -- An interview U.S. Vice President Joe Biden gave to an American newspaper was front-page news Monday in Moscow, where his characterization of Russia as a weakened nation hit a raw nerve.

Biden said Russia's economic difficulties are likely to make the Kremlin more willing to cooperate with the United States on a range of national security issues.

"I think we vastly underestimate the hand that we hold," he said in an interview to The Wall Street Journal published Saturday.

Biden's comments appeared to catch the Kremlin by surprise, coming less than three weeks after President Barack Obama said on a visit to Moscow that the U.S. wants to see a "strong, peaceful and prosperous Russia."

"It raises the question: Who is shaping U.S. foreign policy? The president or members of his team, even the most respected ones?" said Kremlin foreign policy adviser Sergei Prikhodko.

Look, this guy is dangerous. He truly is capable of doing tremendous damage to the country with these off the wall remarks.

Yet who was the Idiot who picked him and who are the idiots who elected him?

The Demo Left. Plus a bunch of people who deserve the title, "Useful idiots."

WaPost Link

10% excise tax on a needed service??

Mon Jul 27 2009 17:18:00 ET

Face-lifts, tummy tucks and hair transplants could be hit with a new tax to help finance the trillion-dollar healthcare overhaul plan, CONGRESS DAILY reports.

The Senate Finance Committee has discussed imposing a 10% excise tax on cosmetic surgery deemed unnecessary for medical purposes.

DAILY's Peter Cohn reveals: The idea was broached in a meeting with OMB Director Orszag in mid-July, after which Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus told reporters he had heard some "interesting," "creative," and "kind of fun" ideas.

All kidding aside, can you imagine the Leftie Demos imposing a tax on their more needy member and Gollywood Supporters?


Summer in Chicago - Man made global warming is a lie

The National Weather Service says 2009 has seen the coldest July since the official recording station was moved away from the lakefront in 1942. The average temperature this month in Chicago has been a mere 68.9 degrees.

Even in the years before 1942, when the National Weather Service recorded temperatures at the cooler lakefront, there are only three years that had colder Julys through the 26th.

There have also been far more days than usual with high temperatures less than 80 degrees this year. In 2009, there were 13 days where the temperature did not exceed 80 degrees. Only three Julys in the past 67 years have had more days in Chicago with highs less than 80 – there were 18 such days in 1992, and 14 in 1996 and 2000.

We have also failed to reach 90 degrees at any time this month.

Summer in Chicago link

On the local scene we had one of the coldest winters and a cold wet spring that delayed planting, my garden included. About two weeks ago we hit a cool spell and tomatoes stopped ripening on the vine. My okra is producing at about half normal and no new pepper pods are forming, the blooms are just falling off.

A week ago my wife demanded the heat be turned on because the house was so chilly.

And we live in the southeast.

Yet the Idiot the idiots elected and the many idiots in Congress have passed a bill to increase the cost of energy because man is causing the earth to warm.

What unadulterated bull shit.