Cowboy poetry

Jake, the rancher, went one day to fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty and the clouds rolled gray and dense.
As he pounded the last staples in and gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen, the wind and snow began to blow.
When he finally reached his pickup, he felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition, he knew it wouldn't start.
So Jake did what most of us would do if we had been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head and sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key for the last time, he softly cursed his luck.
They found him three days later, frozen stiff in that old truck.
Now Jake had been around in life and done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked -- it looked just like Wyoming !
Of all the saints in Heaven, his favorite was St. Peter.
(Now, this line ain't needed but it helps with rhyme and met er)
So they set and talked a minute or two, or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping' score -- in Heaven time is free.

"I've always heard," Jake said to Pete, "that God will answer prayer,
But one time I asked for help, well, He just plain wasn't there."
"Does God answer prayers of some, and ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square -- I know all men are brothers."
"Or does He randomly reply, without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day, the weather or the season."
"Now I ain't trying to act smart, it's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering', could you tell me -- what the heck's the deal?!"

Peter listened very patiently and when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition, and he said, "So, you're the one!!"
"That day your truck, it wouldn't start, and you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time, with hundreds of us trying."
"A thousand angels rushed, to check the status of your file,
But you know, Jake, we hadn't heard from you in quite a long while."
"And though all prayers are answered, and God ain't got no quota,

He didn't recognize your voice, and started a truck in Minnesota ."

BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH

My thanks to Trish!

Ahmadinejad supports Hussein

Why am I not surprised?

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad weighed in on the US presidential election today, noting that only one of the candidates supports restoring diplomatic contact with Iran.

In response to a question from an American student about whether he supports Democratic nominee Barack Obama or Republican John McCain, Ahmadinejad did not explicitly name Obama but said: “The American government 28 years ago decided on its own to cut its ties with Iran . . .We do prefer to have relations, whereas one of the candidates in this election would prefer that.”

Where is Joe Biden??

A lady from Canada, Claudia, has asked the following question to the Dark Avenger.

Never understand why the media, and people like you, are always comparing Sarah to Obama. Where's Hussein's V.P. in your story? Disappeared into oblivion?

Well, after he chastised Hussein for one of the attack ads....

And opined that the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor...

And noted that in the stock market crash of 1929 President Roosevelt went on TV to reassure the country...

Well, he's in the picture.... You just have to find him!

Anybody besides me wonder why the press has ignored these??

Clinton - Democrats resisted tightening up on Fannie Mae and Fannie Mac

Just the facts, mam.

This was said by Bill Clinton. And it speaks for itself.

Two days later, former President Clinton agreed:

CHRIS CUOMO, ABC NEWS: A little surprising for you to hear the Democrats saying, "This came out of nowhere, this is all about the Republicans. We had nothing to do with this." Nancy Pelosi saying it. She signed the '99 Gramm Bill. She knew what was going on with the SEC. They're all sophisticated people. Is that playing politics in this situation?

BILL CLINTON: Well, maybe everybody does that a little bit. I think the responsibility the Democrats have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or by me when I was President to put some standards and tighten up a little on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Link

Holy Tell the Truth Batman!

McCain saves the day!

John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
Go, John McCain! Go, John McCain!

John was sitting on a Skyhawk plane
Knew this had to change.
Saw the country needed help.
Said, "I can't worry about me!"
That's right of course!
John McCain to the rescue!
Go, John McCain! Go, John McCain!

One day, John met a guy named Hussein.
Hussein was feeling kind of blue.
Said, "I'm McCain, the kind of guy
Who can't stand to see a little guy cry."
John McCain to the rescue!
Go, John McCain! Go, John McCain!

John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
Go, John McCain! Go, John McCain!


John was riding on a fast jet plane
Got a message from the House Speaker Queen.
She was hanging on a Depression Line
John didn't waste no time!
While Hussein pouted and said “Gimme a call!”
John said, “I’ve got the ball!”
Flew to Washington to fix the mess!

John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
Go, John McCain! Go, John McCain!

Hussein kept saying, “Let’s Debate!”
John said, “Your ambition can wait!”
Congress knew he was on the way!
And said, “We’ll do right!”
John McCain saved the day!

John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
John McCain to the rescue!
Go, John McCain! Go, John McCain!

With apologies to song writers everywhere...and a special thanks to Jim Dandy..

Obama works to solve financial crisis

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack (Hussein) Obama, D-Ill. signs autographs backstage after a rally in Dunedin, Fla., Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2008.

(AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

Yes indeed. Nothing like a man hardworking to take care of himself.... uh I meant Democrats......uh I meant Lefties......uh I meant The World... Yes. That's it...

Yahoo News

Obama leaves race! Bump and Update

The Dark Avenger of "I complain a lot fame" claims that this is a racist post.

I re-read it and find nothing racist about it, but there was a sentence that really was beyond good taste.

So I have deleted it. Its removal doesn't change the thrust or the humor.

So there you go DA. I hope this makes you feel better... I surely wouldn't want to hurt a reader's feelings!

BTW - I am sure you have no problems with the next to last paragraph in which McCain is painted as being dumber than dirt... Do you?

And how many race cards do you have left to play?
.........................................................................
This is seriously funny.

Caution. Adult language.

In the wake of an epic financial meltdown that threatens to derail the U.S. economy for years, Barack Obama announced he was ending his run for President of the United States, declaring to a stunned nation, “Man, this is bullshit.”

In a boisterous and hastily-called press conference, Obama detailed his reasons for the decision. “I was prepared to fight global warming, reform the health care system, repair our crumbling roads, create a 21st century electric grid, find Bin Laden, end the war in Iraq, and bring peace to Israel and the Palestinians. But now you tell me I have to clean up the worst financial mess since the Great Depression too? One that’s going to plunge our economy into a recession for most of my administration while I take the blame? Fuck that. That’s fucking ridiculous. You guys clean up your own shit. I’m outta here.”

He elaborated: “From the time I was a little boy, I dreamt of being President one day. Of having the power and resources to enact a bold vision for the country, to set this great land on a path to a better future. Now we’re fucking broke. What the hell can I do when we’re $9 trillion in debt and got 1 billion Chinese hankering to cash their IOUs? I can’t even buy a three-fingered handjob now.”

Obama also revealed that he previously thought about quitting when Sen. McCain picked Gov. Palin as a running mate (”What is this, a reality TV show?”), when the media covered the faux lipstick-on-a-pig scandal for two days straight (”Why would I call her a pig? She’s a fucking MILF, for Christ’s sake”), and when he realized he was still neck and neck with McCain in the polls in spite of being his opponent’s superior in every possible metric and running as the exact opposite of one of the worst administrations in U.S. history.

Obama took no questions from reporters. After reading his statement, he threw his suit jacket on the ground, made an obscene gesture to the press corp, and dashed out a back exit............and rode away.

The new de facto leader of the Presidential race, Sen. John McCain, was unaware of the development until told about it by a reporter. When asked how he felt about Obama quitting, McCain replied: “Senator Obama would like to fool the American people that he is the quitter in this race. He’s not. I already quit in 2005, well before Obama even thought of quitting. That’s quitting you can believe in.”

It is unknown at this time where Sen. Biden will replace Obama at the top of the ticket, but it is unlikely as the Obama campaign announced plans to return all unspent money to its supporters along with a 20% off coupon to flights to Canada.

Link

Hat tip to Grant M!