Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Jock Arrests

For most American men, this time of year means the kickoff of NFL training camp — the start of the New Year on the couch-potato sports calendar. But for me it’s a sad time. It’s the end of Arrest Season.

In terms of jock crime sprees, no other stretch rivals late June and July. Why? For one thing both the NHL and NBA seasons have come to an end, unleashing on places like Vegas, Atlanta, and Miami a torrent of millionaire Slavic and Scandinavian power drinkers and seven-foot NBA jism-spewing machines, all with eight months of rigorous dieting and physical training to undo.

Before you go out and start committing crimes, it’s important to first make sure you’re at least slightly better than the 30 or 40 guys the team’s assistant GM could instantly pull off some practice squad to replace you. Otherwise you will become fodder for the team’s zero-tolerance discipline policy.


Read the whole article. It is funny.

Hat tip to Harry Saxon over at TalkLeft for the turn on.

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