Why I voted Democrat

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever
I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a
gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of
gas at 15% isn't obscene.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job
of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody
is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the
bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're
good people.

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I
know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers
and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it
will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away
in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of
millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive

I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed
to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the
rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the
Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never
get their agendas past the voters.

I voted democrat because I'm sure that Left-Wing
Educators have better influence on my Children's
outlook on life than Parents.

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that
it is unlikely that I'll ever have another personal point of view.

Hat tip to Jimmy M!