The European Union and language

Months ago I adopted the canary, that bird used long ago as an early warning detector of deadly gas in mines, as a symbol of what is happening in Europe and what is coming our way. While he may appear in good health he is singing only to keep his spirits up as he readies himself to fly by the graveyard.

And no, I am not making the following up.

Euro chiefs ban 'Miss' and 'Mrs'

The politically correct rules also mean a ban on Continental titles, such as Madame and Mademoiselle, Frau and Fraulein and Senora and Senorita.

Never mind that words are supposed to have meaning and that "Miss" denotes an unmarried female and "Mrs" a married female, we must obscure and confuse, probably because there is no equivalent to "Ms" for men beyond the no longer used "Master" for boys and "Mr" for adult males.

Or perhaps merely because socialists understand that to confuse is to allow them to make up the rules as they go along.

I always supported using "Ms" in business as a formal and polite greeting indicating that the martial status has nothing to do with the business transaction, but this is stupid.

I am tempted to add, "I guess 'bitch' is out of the question," as a weak attempt at satirical protest but I am sure it would be misunderstood. Perhaps if I threw in "Prick" for men I might be saved. And yes, I thought of "ass" but that is asexual.

Wait! I have it. "Comrade" is perfect, denoting members of the Communist Party. I am sure some of the Euro chiefs would fit perfectly in the Moscow of say, 1950??

But it doesn't end there.

Officials have also ordered that 'sportsmen' be called 'athletes', 'statesmen' be referred to as 'political leaders' and even that 'synthetic' or 'artificial' be used instead of 'man-made'.

The guidance lists banned terms for describing professions, including fireman, air hostess, headmaster, policeman, salesman, manageress, cinema usherette and male nurse.

The "political leader" instead of "statesman" is a perfect example of what they want to do. In one swoop bin Ladin becomes equal with Churchill and Stalin with FDR.

I can only guess at the effort, time and money spent by these people in such work as this.

But, they have not always won.

Seven years ago, an attempt to amend noise laws came close to effectively outlawing bagpipes.

Obviously there are a number of English in the EU bureaucrats.

But they have had their successes.

However, a number of bizarre EU rules remain in place, including a directive stating that every pair of rubber boots must be supplied with a user's manual in 12 languages.

The older I get the wiser my Father becomes. I have heard him on several occasions when commenting on the intelligence and lack of common sense of some hapless individual... always a M. and never a Ms, Miss or Mrs., announce:

"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot without instructions on the heel."

I never knew Dad was that familar with buraucrats. We had so few on the farm.

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Hat tip to UrgentAgenda.