PARIS: There is good news and bad news for President George W. Bush as he pursues his valedictory tour of Europe this week, according to a new worldwide study by the Pew Global Attitudes Project.
On the one hand, the image of the United States has improved slightly in many countries over the past year. On the other, the new optimism appears to be driven largely by the fact that Bush will soon be leaving office.
Oh. You don't know what "KMA" stands for? OK.
Let me help you. The "K" is for "Kiss." The "M" is for "My." And the "A" is for a word that has "A" as its first letter and "S" as its last letter.
In case you forget we went to war to bail your butts out from Hitler and then spent the next 40 years or so protecting your sorry behinds from the tender clutches of the Soviet Union. That cost this country a zillion dollars and God only knows how many dead and injured. And all we asked for was enough land to bury our dead.
Yet when we needed help with Iraq, damn few of you stepped forward.
And now I read such dumb stuff as:
In addition, while the prospect of Bush's departure and the excitement of the U.S. primary contest have helped the image of the United States, a worldwide surge in concern about slumping economic conditions and a widespread view that the U.S. economy is harming local economies may tarnish it.
Listen jocko, you didn't have an economy until we rescued you with the Marshall Plan. And hey! We were stupid enough to offer it to the Soviets but they were too stupid to take it!
And then to demonstrate just how screwed in the head many of you are, I read this:
Survey respondents also tend to see the United States as the main offender in global warming, Pew said.
So called man made Global Warming is a hoax. If the earth warms a bit it is because of the bright orange thing in the sky. But right now the earth has been cooling and staying the same for the past ten years. And just to give you something to think about.... Why did Leif and his happy band of sailors name Greenland, "Greenland?" There weren't any cars around back then.... or utility companies...what caused that warmingn trend?
But go ahead and give your government a $40 per ton tax on carbon dixiode. I'm sure that will solve the problem.(Sarcasm alert for the slower among you.)
So feel free to keep on dissing us. We've got a few problems right now but we'll struggle through, and being the dummies we are, we'll probably come to your aid when the radical Muslims decide to take over your countries... I mean what part they don't control right now.
But don't think we do it anymore out of love. We just think it's better for us to fight in your countries rather than ours.
Peace, dear chums. Peace.
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