The devil made me do it..

So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads... He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing. Anyway... this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. He begs her: "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and such."

The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says, "Abracapokus! You're brown!"

The toad looks down and sees that he is brown except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother: "Wait a minute! My pecker's still yellow!" To this the fairy godmother replies: "I don't do Johnsons. You will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that." The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.

There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother. He implores her: "Fairy Godmother, please make me brown like the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account of the hunters can spot me from a mile off."

She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!"

The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the old twig and berries; they remain purple. He says:

"My wang is still purple!" She says: "I don't do units, you will have to go see the Wizard of Oz for that."

To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find the Wizard of Oz?"












The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy... just follow the yellow dick toad!"

Hat tip to Mike L!

Beck 2, Lefties 0

First Van Jones, now this.

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Census Bureau on Friday severed its ties with ACORN, a community organization that has been hit with Republican accusations of voter-registration fraud.

Link

I was right then

I am not much on "days," finding that they usually are more about some one's agenda that whatever it is we are supposed to be remembering.

But I found this while digging through some old files. It was written just before we went to war with Iraq. I think I was right when I wrote it although I couldn't fathom the hatred of Bush and the demonstrated love for Palestinians and the out right treasonous actions of so many in the media that we would see in the coming years.

As war clouds in the mid thirties started to cover Europe, Hitler moved to seize the Ruhr Valley. We now know that, as he did so, he was poised to immediately withdraw if the French took any action in response. The French did nothing but chatter and consult. This dithering strengthened Hitler, and led to further aggression, capped by Chamberlain's infamous collapse and, "Peace in our time." Of course there was no peace, and the resulting war killed millions.

As we now ready ourselves to go to war with Iraq, it saddens me to see some of our major allies, especially the French and Germans, shut their eyes and blather meaningless words as if conversation can change a group of people that celebrate the suicide bombing deaths of their own children.

As I watch many so-called Hollywood elite's, and even some business people who should understand the world, demand peace, and with quivering voice beg to know, "What has Iraq done to us?" I answer with the following.

Iraq has given aid and succor to our enemies. Iraq will use the extreme fringe of the Muslim world to attack us, and if we allow them to seize control of the Middle East these attacks will be deadly and continual. As we lose our oil supply, and oil is absolutely necessary in a modern society, our economy will collapse. Russia, who even now has great problems on its southern border, will largely give up control of its oil, and so will the producers in south east Asian waters. Mexico and Venezuela, who are unstable at best, will also come under the influence of our enemies, and we will be faced with some terrible choices.

As this happens, Iraq, which is a secular society, will discover that it has helped a terrible genie come out of the bottle. A new darkness will start to fall across the world, and the scenes we saw of a young woman being shot in the back of the head in a soccer stadium for the "accused crime" of adultery will be as common as the desert sands. Once again, as it has done many times in the past, religion twisted from love to hatred, will be the excuse to dominate and kill the "nonbelievers." It will be ironic that many of these "nonbelievers" will be government members, and other members of the middle and upper classes through out the middle east, who thought they could ride out the storm by giving financial support and lip service but not 100% obedience. The communists called people like them "useful fools." A more apt description is "dead when usefulness is over."

At this point the United States, faced with bleeding to death from many cuts, will most likely decide that it must end this war with massive force. Nuclear weapons will be deployed on a variety of targets resulting in the deaths of millions of people. Whether or not this action will end the war is uncertain, but the dead on both sides will not care.

To prevent this terrible scenario we now spend our nation's resources and send our children in harm's way. And that is why we go to war with Iraq. Let us pray for our children's success, because if they fail, we will not recognize our grandchildren.

I can only add that the Left succeeded in stopping what we should have done and have now elected a Muslim apologist. For a while I thought that this was actually meaningful. I now know that he is a Carter on history's radar screen. I don't know who will replace him, just that someone will.

Just the facts

This needs no explanation.




Hat tip to Mike L.

Oooops

No mechanical damage.

Huge cleaning bill.

Obama's health care plan explained

"Trust me."

"Any questions?"

"Trust me."

"Where do we find $900 billion of fraud and waste in Medicare that we couldn't find before?"

"Trust me."

"How come my health care adviser writes about death panels?"

"Trust me."

"Any more questions?"

"Trust me."

Killer drones

This is cool unless you are the target.



Hat tip to who sent me this. For the life of me I can't remember.