An easy guide to keeping political news in perspective

1.The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2.The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3.The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5.The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6.The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7.The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8.The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9.The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

10.The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11.The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12.The Key West Citizen is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

Hat tip to Larry P!



"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper


“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .


Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.


Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.


Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


Number 3

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


And The Number 1 Thought

Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers -- what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.


- - - and as someone recently said to me:  "Don't worry about old age -- it doesn't last that long."

Hat tip to Jimmy M!



"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Politically Incorrect

Alcohol reducing plan.

I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.''

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually '

Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance, with a face like that!'

A 10 year old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.'

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself...'I’m going to take that.'

Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him Where am I? The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. ‘You’re in that basket.’

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was, Where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?

"It's time for a glass of wine!"

Hat tip to Jimmy M!



















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"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

New Nail Gun.....

made by DeWALT???? Don't think so, but it has some good points.

It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, and relax and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away.

With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you to build or fix anything else, probably, ever again.

Hat tip to Bill T!


"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Code 128

So there we were.  Headed for home after a nice dinner. Chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and a good Cabernet to wash it down with. My boss had the Chicken Pot Pie and ice tea. Comfort food on a cold January night.

Then the dreaded "Check Engine" light came on. The car was running fine, the temperature gauge was normal so I just took it on home. After I got there I double checked the gas tank's cap as a loose cap will generate an error. The cap seemed okay so I decided I'd look into come morning. Besides, 28 degrees is too cold for a seasoned citizen to mess around in.

The next morning I dropped off the Grandson at school and drove on over to the Firestone store that has been doing my minor....oil change...tires...etc work on both my wife's and my car. Since the oil only had 11% life left I decided I'd just go ahead and get an oil change, get them to tell me what the error code was and if it was serious, I'd take the car to the dealer who does my major repair work. If not I'd truck on down to Tunica for a couple days of poker playing.

The conversation went something like this:

Service guy, after getting my name:  "The Lucrene or the Regal?"

Me: Lucrene. Oil and whatever else.

Service Guy: Same oil we've been using?

Me: Yeah. And btw, there's a check engine light that came on last night. Tell me what the error code is.

Service Guy: So you want to purchase a diagnostic test?

Me: Purchase? No. Just tell me what the error code is and I'll decide who gets to fix it.

Service Guy: Sorry, Firestone policy won't let me do that.

Me: Huh? I mean, if I don't know what's wrong I can't decide if I want you guys to fix it or not.

Service Guy: Sorry, but that's Firestone Policy.

Me, remembering that after I had an error code reset on the wife's Regal and it never came back because it was just a glitch: Okay, just reset it. If it comes back on I'll see what's what.

Service Guy: Sorry, but that's against Firestone's Policy.

Me: Let me see. You've been servicing my two cars for quite a while and I've got this one here and all I want is for it to be serviced and the computer reset.

Service Guy: Sorry, Firestone's policy won't let me.

Me: Autozone will tell me what the code is for free.

Service Guy: Yeah. There's an Autozone right up the street. You can stop by there after we get the service work done.

Me: I got a better idea.

Service Guy: Sorry, but that's Firestone's policy.

Me: My idea is this. My policy is that I don't do business with companies that can't help me out a little.

Service Guy: Sorry, but that's Firestone's policy.

Me: Please don't take this personal 'cause I know you're just doing what you're told. But the next time you talk to your boss tell him a long term good customer is now an ex-customer and said that Firestone can kiss his foot.

So I drove out to the Chevy dealer who has been doing my major repair and had him change the oil. He checked the error code and announced it was telling me that the engine was running a little too cold. Good old code 128. Probable causes? Low coolant? Nope. Coolant fine. Thermostat not working correctly? Hmmm, temperature gauge looks exactly right. Temperature sending sensor?? Maybe.

I asked if driving it down to Tunica would hurt and he said no, but I shouldn't wait too long to replace the thermostat.... Only around $200 for that plus fresh coolant.

So I did. Nice trip. Only the "Check Engine" light stayed on. Came back to the dealer this PM and asked if they had reset the computer to see if the light would go out.

Well no, they hadn't.

Me. Let's do that.

They did.

The light went  out. We'll see if it stays out.

Moral of this story?? Double check anything a car's computer tells you.

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

I have a job

I work, they pay me.

I pay my taxes & the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem).

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my question:

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.

I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT ----doing drugs while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each province would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!

Hat tip to Claudia!

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

VOTE DEMOCRATIC

12 REASONS


When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted Democrat, give them this list. Then they can then pick a reason from this "TOP 12"..



1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.



2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.



3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.



4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.



5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.



6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.



7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.



8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.



9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.



10.. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.



11. I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".



12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.


Hat tip to Mike L!




"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine