Not politically correct

There appears to be a distinct probability that the following might not be politically correct (or something ) ! ! !

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick, It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.."

Question - Are there too many immigrants in Britain? 17% said yes; 11% said No; 72% said "I am not understand the question please."

The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

 was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.

The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

Hat tip to Bill T!








"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

I love to travel

I have been many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. You can't go alone, you have to be with someone else to be in Cahoots!

I have never been in Cognito. I understand that no one will recognize you there.

I have however been in Sane. They don't have an airport, you have to be driven there. I have been there many times thanks to my family, friends & work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump and I just don't have that kind of energy any more.

I have also been in Doubt. Sad place to go. I try not to visit there too often.

Sometimes I am in Capable.. I go there a lot , now that I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense. It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps the old heart. At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get.

Sometimes I think that I am in Vincible, but life shows me I am not.

Lastly, I have been in Deepshit many times. The older I get, the easier it is to get there....

Hat tip to Claudia!

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Wanna see what the

environmental wackos have their panties in a wad about?

 Natural Gas pipe lines

Oil pipelines

Obviously we have don't have the experience, technical expertise and support to do the Keystone pipeline. Way too risky.

Hat tip to Scott over on TalkLeft.

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

The Poker Player

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500. 'After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Fridays and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.'

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player

Hat tip to Jimmy M!

Hmmmm, sounds to me like Jim got a raise he could call.

Sometimes it's best to plunge right in.



"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Can you speak English?

Don't worry, we'll give it to you in Spanish!



Yeah, that's what ii appears to be. Free cell phone service.

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Ain't it the truth

DEAR ABBY:

'I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?'

Sam in California .

DEAR SAM:

'Register as a Republican, and run for public office.'

Abby

Got it from wimpbuster.

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper


“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Did you notice?

Did you notice who Obama threatened when he wasn't getting his way on raising the debt ceiling?

He threatened to not pay:

Social Security Retirees,

Military Retirees,

Social Security disability

and Federal Retirees.

Now.. Let this sink in really good -

He did not threaten to stop payments to illegal aliens

He did not threatened to take frivolous benefits such as Internet access away from violent inmates

He did not offer to fire some of the thousands of unnecessary federal employees that he hired

He did not offer to cut down on his or his wife's frivolous gallivanting around OR HER HUGE STAFF

He did not threaten to not pay the senators and representatives or any of their staff

He did not threaten to take benefits away from welfare recipients

He did not threaten the food stamp programs

He did not threaten to not pay foreign aid

He did not threaten to cut back on anything that involves his base voters

The list could go on and on. He is in full political re-election mode!

Why are we allowing this person to destroy this wonderful country with his selfishness and his lies?

His type of change is killing our country. He needs to be stopped and only our votes can stop him.

Do not forget about his tactics when it's election time. Vote Obama out of the Presidency in 2012.

ELECTION 2012 IS COMING!!!

From now thru November 2012 this should be required weekly or at least monthly, reading – BY ALL WHO VOTE!!!

Hat tip to Bill T!


"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine