Cajun Baptist

Reverend Boudreaux was the part-time pastor of the local Cajun Baptist Church, and Pastor Thibodeaux was the minister of the Covenant Church across the road. They were both standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground that read:

Da End is Near
Turn Yo Sef 'Roun Now
Afore It Be Too Late!

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "You religious nuts!"

From the curve they heard screeching tires, and a big splash...

Boudreaux turns to Thib and asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should jussay.........Bridge Out

Hat Tip to Dave T!

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Present company excepted, of course

A woman was helping her husband to install his new computer. Once they finished the installation, it says to her husband that he must choose a password. Something which he will remember because it will be needed to start a session. The man a little macho… wanting to pass message to his wife, he chooses a password and is eager to see her reaction. When the computer requests the password of him… he looks at his wife with a tempting air and types:



P...

E...

N....

I...

S...

When her husband pressed (enter) she throws herself on the ground laughing....




Because the computer answered her husband:


Access denied… too short!


Hat tip to Claudia!

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

The things I learned

Well, the year is winding down and I've been thinking about all the things I've learned this year.

I've learned that when you live in a home with a very large yard with lots of trees when a tornado comes through some very bad things happen. Like a bunch of trees down.

Actually I knew that. I also knew that things like that always happen to someone else.

That led me to learn that if you know very little about small engines then buy a Poulan blower and/or chain saw. They are excellent devices to use to learn about repairing small engines.

I also knew this but it was reinforced. Chains put on backwards denigrate the chain sawing experience and are apt to damage the chain.

Chainsaws that do not oil the bar adequately will cause the bar and chain to overheat and jam. Other than repairing what caused the lack of lubrication you can expect to replace the chain and the bar.

That led me to learn that if you trip and fall and try to catch yourself with and extended hand... be sure that the hand is extended far enough. Otherwise you may learn that a single middle finder can't hold your body weight and is likely to wind up pushed backwards and outward giving it an unusual angle and an ugly appearance. It will also hurt like the devil.

That led me to learn that the local feeder hospital is not to be utilized. This was made plain to me when I showed up at the ER with my right hand held up by my left hand and the ER screener asked, "What's your problem?"

I then discovered that the nearby regional ER is top notch. And I later discovered that Medicare doesn't cover the pain killer pill they gave me. Yet Medicare Part D Rx drug insurance does.

Lesson learned? Don't do something to your body that requires a pain killer pill in an ER.

And you really think our health care system isn't totally screwed up?

I also learned that if you think it was the city that chewed up part of your yard while clearing the road after the storm you may discover that the city thinks it was the local utility who thinks it was the local cable guys who thinks it was the county utility who thinks it was the county road department.

Who was rewarded for their coming inside the city limits and screwing up my yard by helping out the city in removing a 80 foot oak from across the road by me reminding them that if you break something, in my world, you fix it.

Happily, I learned that their management are stand up people.

I also learned that my home owner's insurance is limited to $1500 with a $500 deductible for tree remioval.

What I really learned was..... read the policy and that learning can be painful and expensive.

But the most painful thing I learned was this. Cutting down those trees that have been so badly damaged that they detract from the house's appearance or may fall down and damage other trees must be done.

By that standard I am in deep, deep trouble.


"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

On negative people

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best
to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who
knows nothing, and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to
Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who
responded:
" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always
late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River
called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be
something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped
us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a
handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were
overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra
charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know
you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet
some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private
room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

Hat tip to Mike L!








"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper


“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

A needed attitude adjustment

Claudia sent this along. Watch it. It'll help you.

Hat Tip!



"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Call center conversations

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!!


And they vote!

HELLO, OPERATOR !!!!!!

Actual call center conversations!

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help?'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'


RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am Traveling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Does the policy name give you a clue?'


Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?

Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ....'

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'


Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'


Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.............. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ..'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach it'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No..'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

Hat tip to Claudia!



"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

 “It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine

Dog for sale!

A guy is driving around the back woods of Louisiana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale'.

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and

listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard'.

Hat Tip to Trish G!

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“It’s the presumption that Obama knows how all these industries ought to be operating better than people who have spent their lives in those industries, and a general cockiness going back to before he was president, and the fact that he has no experience whatever in managing anything. Only someone who has never had the responsibility for managing anything could believe he could manage just about everything.” - Thomas Sowell in Reason Magazine