Little Johnny - A historical view

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny, a bright Navajo Indian boy who had his hand up. “Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good!"

Who said, "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Little Johnny, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed, Little Johnny knows more about history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Indians."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Little Johnny put his hand up, "General George Armstrong Custer, 1876."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I think I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks, "All right! Now who said that!?"

Again, Little Johnny says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Little Johnny jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Little Johnny frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the kid testifying against him,2004."

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're screwed no matter what happens here!"

Little Johnny said quietly, "That would be the American Voters, November 4, 2008.

Hat Tip to Don H

Why we don't take South American political leaders seriously enough

LA PAZ – The president of the United Nations General Assembly, Rev. Miguel D’Escoto Brockmann, on Saturday declared Bolivian President Evo Morales as “World Hero of Mother Earth” in a ceremony at the presidential palace in this capital.

With a medal and a parchment scroll, the General Assembly of the United Nations Organization named Morales “the maximum exponent and paradigm of love for Mother Earth” in the resolution for his decoration that was read during the ceremony.

The document added that the decision was taken “after extensive consultation” among representatives of the General Assembly’s member countries.

D’Escoto recalled that Morales “was the one who most helped” the United Nations declare last April 22 as International Mother Earth Day, or “Pachamama” as Mother Earth is said in Bolivia’s Aymara Indian tongue.

For his part, the president said that the honor is not for Evo Morales, “but for our ancestors and the native peoples” that “have always defended Mother Earth.”

This is nonsense. His ancestors cut down trees, trapped animals and probably sacrificed them to gods believeing that would ensure a good harvest. Many "civilizations" of the ancients disappeared because they cut down all the trees to be used as fuel. Same thing is now happening in parts of Africa. Many natives in South America wander through the forests engaging in slash and burn land clearing for farming.

Only the stupidest of the environmental wackos don't know that it is modern man, actually the culture of the west aided by our technology, that has helped "clean" up the environment destroyed by the acts of our, and their, ignorant ancestors.

He added that he will continue trying to get the international community to acknowledge the rights of Mother Earth.

The rights of who? People have rights..........Oh, wait.

Besides Morales, the former Cuban head of state Fidel Castro has been named “World Hero of Solidarity” and the late ex-president of Tanzania, Julius Nyerere, will be honored as “World Hero of Social Justice.”

“What we want to do is present these three people to the world and say that they embody virtues and values worth emulation by all of us,” said D’Escoto, who like the socialist Morales is a staunch critic of U.S. foreign policy in Latin America.

Yeah, like executing political opponents a la Castro and Che?

At last all is revealed.

D’Escoto was elected president of the 63rd session of the UN General Assembly on June 4, 2008, and was Nigaraguan foreign minister during the first Sandinista government from 1979 to 1990.

I am reminded of "The Wizard of Oz" except these flakes and fakes are actually dangerous.

Hat tip to Urgent Agenda

Obama dreads meeting with families of military men killed in Afghanistan

PP - In an early morning interview before he left to attend Senator Kennedy's funeral President Obama said that Kennedy had lived a long and rich life and that though he will be missed we can all celebrate the many great things he accomplished.

When asked to be more specific the Chosen One said that he couldn't think of one off hand but was sure that Kennedy had done something that would be remembered 100 years from now.

When asked if he had any military funerals scheduled he said that he just hated funerals and was too busy trying to figure out to make veterans needing healthcare pay for their own insurance to go through the whole Taps thing.

"I call it the Forced Out Option," he said, explaining it was only fair for those who fought to pay for their expenses. "Try that in any bar in Chicago and the owner will expect you, or your ward heeler, to make things right."

And no, none of the above happened but we all know it to be accurate.

BTW - Can anyone tell me what happened to the demands from the Left that our President meet the aircraft containing the bodies of our dead servicemen?

Global Controlling

The current Global Warming Debate is not about temperature or CO2 levels. It is also not part of a scientific dispute inside climatology. It is an ideological clash between those who want to change us (rather than the climate) and those who believe in freedom, markets, human ingenuity, and technical progress. It is a dispute about us, about people, about human society, about our values, about our habits, about our way of life. Temperature fluctuations are only an instrument, not a real object of interest for those who play that game

.

Here, read the rest. It's more important than last night's ball scores.

Didn't know I was a scold, did you?

Various Laws, etc...

If you don't know these, you should.

Clarke's Second Law
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible


Baker's Law
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.


Axiom of the Pipe (Trischmann's Paradox)
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

And my favorite:

Clarke's Third Law
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Link to the rest.

And this one from Robert Heinlein. As we look at our Brave New World of ObamieCare we need to consider......................

TANSTAAFL
There aint no such thing as a free lunch.

I would have been posting more but I have been torn

between a fake homily to Teddy and asking the following.

What do you think Teddy said to Mary Joe on his way by?

"I thought you could swim better than that."

"I should have let you drive."

"Sorry about that."

"Ooops!"

Some punnies

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the woman did not know how to juggle, she just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Hat tip to Don H.