On budgets and rapes and gardens

Times are hard...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a polygamist with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ounce.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America ..

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico .

A picture is now worth only 200 words.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, our long, unnecessary war, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Hat tip to Jimmy M!

On to more serious stuff. 

In the I wouldn't want to get pissed off and say something nasty department.

On Friday February 11, the day Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak stepped down, CBS correspondent Lara Logan was covering the jubilation in Tahrir Square for a "60 Minutes" story when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration. It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into frenzy.

In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers. She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning. She is currently in the hospital recovering.

There will be no further comment from CBS News and correspondent Logan and her family respectfully request privacy at this time.

CBS Link

"dangerous element" You think?

"no further comment" Not even a "that was naughty of them?"

We can be thankful for the women and the 20 soldiers.

We can scorn CBS for its despicable timidness. PC strikes again.

And all I have heard all day is that we must work together to balance the budget and avoid the catastrophe just over the horizon. To do this we must raise taxes and cut spending.

Uh, how can I say this???

Dearest Assholes:

You never cut spending in a deal like this so take your suggestions and shove them where the sun doesn't shine.

Get back to me when you have cut federal employment by 10%, wages by 10% and closed down the Department of Education, Energy, EPA,  HUD and this has happened 5 years in the past. At the same time we can eliminate all foreign aid and NPR. More details to follow.

BTW - Since I ain't the one who pissed away trillions I don't see me agreeing to take it in the shorts for your hen house ways. By that I mean don't even think about touching Social Security or Medicare.

I hope there is no confusion in this matter.

It has warmed up nicely.

I have spent two days picking up limbs, raking the oak leaves away from the house and from in the flower beds. You know. The ones that fall all winter.

And I then put the baggier on the John Deere and started bagging the leaves and trash for depositing in trash piles, with plans to dump on the garden as compost to till in and cover to reduce weeds and hold moisture.

Bless Global Warming.

My boss said that the garden must be bigger this year and she plans to fight food inflation with more freezing, pickling and canning. So I will up the number of tomato plants and okra and expand my potato, cabbage, onion, cucumbers, bell peppers and squash crop.

I don't bother with corn or the various peas and beans because they are plentiful at the farmer's markets and you don't have to center your life around when the corn or peas is ready.

Gardening is always fun in February, work in July.

Speaking of warming.

Startling Stories September 1950

Another warm Lassie from Bergey. I remember reading the novel, "The Cybernetic Brains" but I don't  remember the girl. Ah. Life is full of disappointments.

OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson

Be my valentine???

Minor rants and petite complaints, aka this stuff just bugs me department.

Why does every commercial with an adult male show me a guy who needs a shave? Has Gillette gone out of business?

I mean first we have business people, led by the computer/IT geeks showing up in sloppy garb. Supposedly it showed they were free thinkers and had independent thought. Funny, none of them ever thought of a nice suit, white shirt and tie.

But this latest trend is just blah. You want me to pay attention to an actor pushing your product?? And he can’t shave?

Please.

The Donald is running for Prez??? Sorry Donald. Your comments are far too logical and correct to be taken seriously. Stop at once and start worrying about gay marriage and dope smoking. Then we’ll pay attention. (That’s sarcasm, boys and girls.)

Obamie is going to balance the budget by not spending money that he would have spent otherwise using money that he never had. Okie dokie.

Oh, did I mention high speed trains zipping from place to place with passengers stepping from the train directly to public transportation??

Where does he get this stuff??

I doubt he gets it from scifi. Of course this issue, May 1950, features "Wine of the Dreamers." So who knows?

BTW - You will note that the young lady is scantily clad while our hero is covered from head to toe, gloves included. Obviously our future ladies have built in environmental controls.

The cover was by Bergey, one of the best known cover illustrators. His T&A covers, tastefully described as GGA (Good girl art) titillated a whole generation of young (and old) men.

And John D. MacDonald's featured novel went on to be published in hard cover, quite an accomplishment for a scifi story in 1950.  He became famous for his Travis McGee series of mystery thrillers and is close to being the seller of more books that anyone else of that genre.

But I digress........on to the exciting stuff??

Dumber and stupid.

On Feb. 15, on the recommendation of its Peace & Justice Commission, the Berkeley (Calif.) City Council is set to vote on a resolution to invite "one or two cleared" Guantanamo Bay detainees to resettle in Berkeley.

Peace & Justice Commissioner Rita Maran told me that the idea was to invite to Berkeley "the kind of people you'd like to have living next door to you or dating your cousin."

Link

I guess that no one has told Rita that about 20% of those terrorists released have returned to attack the US.

Wait..... She's a Leftie...Now I understand.

Know what I would like to see? The voters of Berkeley throw Rita from the train, aka quit funding the “Peace & Justice” whatever that is and make her get a real job in the real world doing real work.

Oh, you though I meant Rita is dumb and stupid?? No. That’s the taxpayers of Berkeley for putting up with shit like this.

Technical and other problems.

Shawn sent me this video on how to fix your Blackberry.

Cheers!
OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson

Science fiction, atomic power and other things

Astounding January 1954

Self Portrait

Not really, but close enough. We dreamed of rockets and space travel and great things. I wrote a high school science paper on satellites and received an F. Unrealistic the teacher said.

The Soviets weren't listening.

Astounding was the second scifi magazine. Volume 1 No. 1 came out January 1930 and unlike Amazing it was more action and less science. John W. Campbell, Jr came along in late '37 and established a reign and readership based on science rather than fantasy. If Gernsback was the Dean of Science Fiction, Campbell was the Godfather.

One of the most famous stories that Campbell published was a novelette in March of 1944, "Deadline," By Cleve Cartmill. The story described the search for atomic power and weapons and mentioned U-235 by name. That brought an FBI visit.

And since the NY Times was still an American paper no one complained.

Now they would demand the agents be jailed and FDR arrested.

Astounding was the first scifi magazine to go "digest" size. During the war the paper shortage and a poor binding system made for copies that have not stood the test of time very well.

But ideas transcend paper, ink and glue.


OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson

Bits and pieces and Amazing Stories

February 1942

Amazing was the Daddy Rabbit of scifi magazines. Hugo Gernsback published Volume 1 No 1 April '26. By February '42 the staid science based stories were gone except for those published in Astounding Stories and the genre was populated with action stories. While the covers promised sex and Bug Eyed Monsters (BEM) ogled scantily clad babes the actual stories followed the Saturday western movie formula. The hero mounted his horse (rocket) and rode off while the heroine school mam pined away in unrequited love.

Many people remember Edgar Rice Burroughs for his Tarzan stories and the movies made from them. He also wrote copious science fiction.

Meanwhile, back in the 21st century...we have Ice World.

We also have a world in which the Lefties are cheering Obama's plan to provide a $7500 incentive for people who buy electric cars.

No one seems to mind that only the wealthy can afford them and that we are broke. Nope. Our man Obamie just wants to keep on pushing his green agenda and destroying the economy.

Regarding Egypt:

There was a young lady of Niger
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And the smile on the face of the tiger.

---- William Cosmo Monkhouse

Fox is reporting that another illegal alien has been arrested for murder and other crimes..... He was arrested years ago to be deported but was released and didn't come back for the free ride.

Fancy that. Criminals breaking the law.

Hat tip to Mike L!







OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson

Changte the name from Iran to Egypt

This was published in CoxandForkum June 20 2003.

Funny how our State Department and other Islamic Useful Idiots never catch on.

OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson

Environmnental wackos from the 30's!

The guy has to wear a space suit but the gal only needs a two piece. I always said women are tougher than men!

That's the cover of Fantastic Quarterly  from Summer of 1950, one of the 4000 or so scifi and fantasy pulps I share my office with.

The story concerns a scientist, much loved at one time, who, when the world won't give into his demands to do what he needs for it to do in order to save it, attacks it and almost wins. But he loses.

As punishment he is exiled into space in a rocket ship that has material in that will always be repelled by Earth... ..... Of course he picks up a girl friend, a side kick and returns to save the world from evil that is destroying the environment.

Did I mention that Al Gore has started a new TV channel and has been joined with Keith Olbermann late of MSNBC? And yeah.... Arianna H has joined AOL.....

Maybe global warming will yet be overcome.

Meanwhile back in the world...

Another Repub Congressman has resigned after being caught doing the really stupid thing of sending his pic to some female who asked on Craigslist for a nan who is financially secure and doesn't look like a toad.

Well, the guy doesn't look like a toad but I am sure he will feel like one by the time his wife finishes with him.

But resign? Doesn't he understand that sex is private.... Oh, wait. He's a Repub and not a Demo.......

And yeah. Believe it or not AOL has given Ms Huffington and Mr. Lerer more than $300 million for "Huffington Post." Good ole AOL. Getting hosed over Time Warner wasn't enough.

Arianna Huffington and Ken Lerer, co-founders of the Huffington Post, are said to be walking away with a combined $80 million to $100 million from an original $2 million per person investment -- but so far AOL stockholders aren't seeing that kind of return.

Since Feb. 1, the price of AOL shares has dropped from $23.85 to $20.89 at yesterday's close.

With 106.7 million shares outstanding, that means AOL has shed $315 million in value over the last five trading days -- which happens to be exactly the same price AOL agreed to pay to acquire HuffPo.

Ny Post

Your friends won't always tell you but the market always will.

And I gotta wonder if the super intelligent executives who did this will actually get their bonuses???

Yes. Yes they will. And that is one of the things wrong with our current management system. The guys who make the big bucks never pay the price. Just the worker bees and the stock holders.

Later. Time to throw some more wood on the fire.

OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson

It's cold

OnTwitter I am Lesabre1

"Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance. If we extend unlimited tolerance even to those who are intolerant, if we are not prepared to defend a tolerant society against the onslaught of the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed, and tolerance with them." - Karl Popper

“Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves.” - William Pitt

"Logic. There is little logic among the cultural elite, maybe because there is little omnipresent fear of job losses or the absence of money, and so arises a rather comfortable margin to indulge in nonsense." - Victor Davis Hanson