Italian Tom Sawyer

Tomato Garden

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie

Blame Mike L.

Coup d'etat by Obama?

I'm not this parnoid... yet. But You will have to admit there's some truth in this.

“My biggest fear,” writes Hosquatch, “is an attack from within....Chris Dodd, Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, John Murtha, Arlen Specter...does anyone have faith and confidence in these legislators? this nation has ALREADY suffered a coup d'etat, and the man in the Oval Office is a usurper bent on crashing this economy and destroying this society so he can morph it into the socialist entity he envisions, with the financial backing of anti-capitalist George Soros and other such men.”

Link

Sounds silly until you stop and think. If you want to destroy any country first you must destroy its society. The best and easiest way to do that is to destroy the economy and the best and easiest way to do that is to destroy its markets... and its banking system.

Who will buy bank stocks when the government speaks of nationalization?

Who will buy health care company stocks when the government speaks of nationalization?

Who will buy energy stocks when the government speaks of higher taxes and more regulation?

Who will buy utility stocks when the government speaks of adding taxes of $40. a ton, or more, to coal burned?

Who will buy manufacturing stocks when the government is talking cap and trade and adding huge costs.

Who will buy retail stocks when the government is raising taxes that will leave people with less to spend?

Husein of Iraq could not have done as much harm to America as Hussein of We Don't Know Where has done.

Above an expansion of my post in the Tennessean.

Obama and Hoover

And you thought he was kidding.



Herbert Hoover said:

"The motor manufacturing companies have all launched their spring models. There is nothing that provides widespread employment more than automobile construction. Every person contemplating buying a new car this year can make a real contribution to employment by putting in his order now even though he does not take immediate delivery."

Link

Obama said:

“What you’re now seeing is profit and earning ratios are starting to get to the point where buying stocks is a potentially good deal, if you’ve got a long-term perspective on it," said Obama.

Link

Above an expansion of my comment in the Tennesseean.

New Book of the Bible discovered by Obamaites

FIRST BOOK OF BARACK OBAMA
OBAMA IS MY SHEPHERD,
I SHALL NOT WANT.
HE LEADETH ME BESIDE STILL FACTORIES.
HE RESTORETH MY FAITH IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
HE GUIDETH ME IN THE PATH OF UNEMPLOYMENT.
YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGHT THE VALLEY OF THE BREAD LINE,
I SHALL NOT GO HUNGRY.
OBAMA HAS ANOINTED MY INCOME WITH TAXES,
MY EXPENSES RUNNETH OVER MY INCOME,
SURELY, POVERTY AND HARD LIVING WILL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE.

THE DEMOCRATS AND I WILL LIVE FOREVER
IN A RENTED HOME.
BUT I AM GLAD I AM AN AMERICAN,
I AM GLAD THAT I AM FREE.
BUT I WISH I WAS A DOG
AND OBAMA A TREE.

Hat tip to Zbcki at the Tennessean

Fligh 1549 Cited for illegal actions.

Preliminary Accident Report FT 1549. Captain held responsible for unauthorized actions which resulted in crash says F.A.A..


Subject: NTSB Report on Flight 1549

----------------

NTSB report on Flight 1549

US Airways violated Federal migratory bird regulations by hunting geese with an A320 Airbus jetliner, claim anonymous government sources. The pilot of flight 1549, Air Force veteran and avid hunter Chesley B. Sullenberger, tried combining both of his interests by bagging a brace of geese over the wetlands near New York's LaGuardia airport after takeoff, on his way to Charlotte, North Carolina.

The imported European $77 million A320 airliner is not certified for either waterfowl or upland bird hunting, so it was not surprising that the aircraft malfunctioned. When he realized that both New York and New Jersey State Game and Fish enforcement officers would soon be approaching, Captain Sullenberger unsuccessfully attempted to hide the plane in the Hudson River.


The crew and 150 passengers were chilled and shaken but unhurt. Most were simply grateful to avoid spending the weekend in Charlotte.

National Transportation Safety Board inspectors rushed to the scene, and reportedly found no Duck Stamps on the downed aircraft's fuselage. Captain Sullenberger has not been charged, but is being held incommunicado at an undisclosed location.

PETA is urging the government to prosecute the pilot for double honkercide and poaching, and the animal rights group is expected to file a civil suit on behalf of the flock. The two victims were undocumented aliens, according to sources close to the investigation, Canada geese who had over-stayed their visas. Their goose gang scandalized their quiet Queens
community by squatting in local cemeteries and golf courses, parking on the grass, cooking strange-smelling food and throwing wild parties late into the night. Neighbors say police dogs were called out on several occasions.

Such incidents have triggered a wave of anti-Canada goose sentiment, but at this time revenge or hate crime motives are not suspected in the US Airways bird bashings.

Forensic examination of the avian corpses continues, and technicians are analyzing the two cadavers under heat with chestnuts, prunes, and Armagnac. NTSB inspectors have contributed a supply of testing fluid, a 2005 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling from Alsace. We will update this story as entrees details become available.

Blame Mike L.

Andrew Jackson

"There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare [children] to them, the same [became] mighty men which [were] of old, men of renown." Gen 6:4

I am reading again of Andrew Jackson. Either our most misunderstood or most understood President. But either way, the most unappreciated President by the sages of our modern times. He fits not in their sophisticated world of politics. Yet how could you not love a man about who John Meacham writes:

“Jackson was fond of well cut clothes, racehorses, dueling, newspapers, gambling, whiskey, coffee, a pipe, pretty women, children, and good company.”

There is enough there to make him acceptable in my world yet that doesn’t even scratch the surface. He was also a man who, heading the first and ill fated, military movement to New Orleans during the war of 1812 and summoned to return was told by his Doctor:

“By now 150 of Jackson’s men were sick, 56 could not set up, and Jackson had a total of eleven wagons for the trip.”…..As they prepared to move out, the Doctor Samuel Hogg asked Jackson what he was to do.

Jackson did not hesitate. “To do sir? You are to leave not a one on the ground.”

“But the wagons are full,” Hogg said, “and they will not convey more than half.”

“Then let some of troops dismount, and the officers must give up their horses to the sick….Not a man, sir, must be left behind.”

Hogg took Jackson at his word, and asked for the General’s own horses, which Jackson handed over. In wonder and admiration his men watched (Jackson)…press on.

“I led them into the field… (and) I will at all hazard and risks lead them out.” (Jackson wrote his wife.)

How elegantly and simply stated, and not from a press conference at 5PM but from the middle of the wilderness some place in Mississippi with no one but his character to bear witness.

Yes, there were giants in the land in those days. Now we have twerps who seek to use problems as an opportunity to enslave us. If Hussein had been there he would have condemned society and then rode away, leaving men on the ground.

To the Tennessee politician Felix Grundy, he (Jackson) said, “As long as I have friends or credit, I will stick by them. I shall march them to Nashville or bury them with the honors of war.”

If you ever need an example of leadership or why men will follow some men to their graves in a cause they see as great you need look no further.

Yet now we have politicians who not only will not serve in the midst of danger, they won’t even pay their income taxes. Yet Hussein employs them and the Senate, to their everlasting shame, has approved them.

To either Jackson’s or the Senate's good fortune, the man they called “Old Hickory” is dead. Was he not I have no doubt that he would visit them and I doubt if his disapproval would be limited to mere words.


Quotes from, "American Lion," Jon Meacham, Random House circa 2008.

Adidas made the Marx A-Flex but turns German

German as in "Hogan's Hero's" Guard Scholtz's, "I don't know nothingggggggg!."

In the age of the Internet you can't even believe pictures. I once had a picture of me pitching baseball, in uniform in the classic pose of winding up to throw. I had it made at one of the tourist type shops in Seattle around 1995. I called it my, "You gonna believe me or your lying eyes?" photo. But I digress.

So I went to Adidas' Internet store and tried to find "Marx A-Flex." It showed out of stock.

But, just to be sure I called Adidas Consumer Relations at 800-448-1796. The young lady I spoke with confirmed they had manufactured the hat but was no longer. When asked if I could buy one direct she said that some may still be around but she had no idea of where or how many.

I have an idea. They are in Hussein's warehouse waiting for the 2012 campaign.

Hat tip to UrgentAgenda and ConservativePunk