Poker Player visits Arizona

Reporter: Before we start let me thank you for doing this interview for the paper’s “Travel Guide” section.

Poker Player: Glad to. And it really ain’t nothing....

Reporter: Well, I personally appreciate it. I mean if I do one more story about the Best Westerns of the red neck Rivera I may just faint.

Poker Player: Uh, guys don’t faint..

Reporter: Yeah. I meant puke.

Poker Player: Gotcha. Now, whatca want to know?

Reporter: Just tell us everything.. Maybe you could start with why you went to Arizona. I mean didn’t the Junction’s town fathers pass a law telling everyone to boycott them?

Poker Player: Nope. They discussed it but then someone said that the US AG hadn’t even read it so they decided to wait for an actual opinion.

Reporter: Oh.

Poker Player: Surprised you didn’t know that.

Reporter: But racial profiling is just so bad. And demanding to see innocent people’s papers…. But back to the trip.

Poker Player: Well, there are a lot of casinos in the Phoenix area....

Reporter: And you went there to play poker?

Poker Player: Well, it’s what I do. And besides I won a free entry into a satellite tournament for the WSOP on the Internet..

Reporter: Huh?

Poker Player: Sorry. I forget you don’t speak the lingo.... WSOP means the World Series of Poker. I won a seat in a satellite tournament that, if I won that, would pay my $10,000 entry fee and some spending money.

Reporter: Tell us about the trip.

Poker Player: Well, I drove down to Presleyville and flew Delta. And that was an experience.....

Reporter: Delta?

Poker Player: Naw, Delta was okay. But when I bought my ticket I used cash. And then when I went through Security I couldn’t find my Driver’s License so they pulled me off to one side and when I finally found it I tripped something in the machine and when they found I had $8,000 dollars on me they took me in a little room and wanted to know if I was a terrorist....

Reporter: Terrorist?

Poker Player: Yeah. They said that terrorists pay for tickets with cash and carry lots of cash. And besides, they were supposed to confiscate everything above $5,000.

Reporter: Huh?

Poker Player: Me too. I mean we talked and talked. I showed my invite to the tournament and pointed out I needed the $8,000 for the side games…....

Reporter: Side games? And they let you go?

Poker Player: Yeah. Finally. They made a bunch of telephone calls and then one said that since my papers were in such good order I could go on.

Reporter: So you weren’t a terrorist suspect?

Poker Player: Nope. But I was so short on time I could only get one Jack and coke before I had to get on the plane. That was tough.

But the flight was okay. Slept most of it, even if I was one drink short.

When I got there I went over and rented me a car. Gave’em a credit card and guess what.

Reporter? The card was no good?

Poker Player: No, no. My credit is pure gold…. They wanted to see my driver’s license. I asked why they cared since if I was stopped without one I’d get the ticket not them. But they said I needed to have all the ID to prove who I was.

Reporter: Did you get a nice car?

Poker Player: Yeah, no problem until I got to the hotel.
Reporter: And?

Poker Player: When I checked in I had my credit card but they wanted some ID. Driver’s license or Passport… Only I couldn’t find my license.. Long about then my cell phone rang. It was the rent a car people telling me I had left it there.

Reporter: Well that was luck. And at least you got to check in and rest a bit before going back to pick up the license.

Poker Player: Nope. They said I had to have proper papers to check in. So I just turned around and went back and got the license and checked in.

I must admit that I was a bit ticked but they said they were just following the rules.

Reporter: How’d the games go?

Poker Player: Not bad. I did win $1100 in the tournament. And guess what?

Reporter: What?

Poker Player: When they went to pay me off they had to have my driver’s license and a credit card and filled out a IRS form that showed that they had withheld income tax.

Reporter: Really?

Poker Player: Really. They even took out state income tax…said I could fill out a form and mail it, and the proper papers, and mail it to the state and ask for a refund as I was a non-resident.

Reporter: Well, that sounds good to me. I mean $1100…

Poker Player: Well, I did feel pretty good. So good I went out and had a big dinner and slept like a baby. Got up the next day and did some sightseeing and then played some more.

Reporter: And?

Poker Player: Got in a $5-$10 No Limit and won about $9000. Man I was hot.

Reporter: And?

Poker Player: Then I started thinking. I mean I got round $17,000 in cash and since I didn’t want to get all involved at the air port again I decided to just open me a bank account.

Reporter: How would that help?

Poker Player: Well, I figured I could use it as a checking account or just write a check on it one time and transfer the money into my account at Junction National…. I’m sure Robbie would let me do that… But she’d probably make me wait until the check cleared…

Anyhow, I went down to one of the local banks and they were all happy to see me until I told them what I wanted to do. They finally called some hoodoo in corporate and then decided they could take the money but I had to fill out all kinds of forms and show them my driver’s license. They said they would notify the government because of the size of the transaction.

Reporter: So that solved the problem?

Poker Player: Well, when I asked them why the feds wanted to know about it they got all huffy and I just said to heck with it and left. They said they’d have to advise Homeland Security of a suspicious event but I had the last word.

Reporter: Last word?

Poker Player: Yeah. Told’em to spell my name right.

Reporter: Well I bet that got’em.

Poker Player: Now don’t be going all snarky on me. I mean I had wore out my driver’s license…

Anyway I drove around a while to cool off. I stopped somewhere to fill up with gas.. Had to pay in advance and when I gave a $100 bill they marked it with a funny looking marker and then said it was okay but they couldn’t change anything higher than a $20.00. So I used my credit card at the pump..

Reporter: Let me guess, it was refused.

Poker Player: No, damnit. I’ve already told you my credit is good…. But what I had to do after I done the card trick was key in my Zip code….. The little lady behind the counter said it was for security…..

Reporter: Sounds good to me.

Poker Player: Me too. After that I went back to the hotel and went to bed. But before that I called Delta and told’em I was gonna be carrying a large amount of cash and could they help with Security…

Reporter: And they could?

Poker Player: Nope. Wasn’t their job. The guy did give a number in DC to call but I figured no one would be up in Disney Land East so I just told him I’d get home another way and get my money back on the return part of the ticket.

Reporter: And?

Poker Player: He said that worked so I decided to just drive back. I could drive up to Vegas for a day or two and then drive up to Denver and play some in the mountain casinos and then over to Kansas City and check them out and down to St Louis and play some…might even take in a Cardinals game or two and then on down to Preseleyville and home.

Reporter: How’d that work out?

Poker Player: Well, outside of having to show my ID every time I turned around it was fine… I did call the rent a car folks and get me a bigger car and find out what the cost would be to drop it in Elvistown… They said just come on by and they’d fix me up, so I got up the next morning and took off.

Reporter: Uneventful departure?

Poker Player: Well, I did drive by this school where the kids were demonstrating,

Reporter: Demonstrating?

Poker Player: Yeah, waving Mexican flags and shouting Yankee go home…

Reporter: And what was their problem?

Player: I asked this policeman who was just standing there that question.

He said they were upset over people the police thought were illegal aliens having to show some ID.

Reporter: Well we wouldn’t people to be profiled and have their civil rights violated….


On Twitter I am Lesabre1

Bits and pieces

Why I live here.



The azaleas have come and gone but the roses linger on. The woods are full of wild climbing roses, the ones that Nat King Cole sings about here.

I have discovered a varmint repellent that is effective. You can spray it around and they, at least for now, stay away. I couple that with a fake owl, poles with white plastic flapping and a new device.

It is a device that you can bury in the ground and it will send out a vibrating "gawpppp" every 28 seconds. Supposedly it runs off moles. I'm using one above ground to run off rabbits and such.... I have a second one that I will try on moles. Supposedly it is good for a circle of 30'. Runs off 3 D cells. The Guard Dog hates the sound but has finally decided to coexist.

But it was too late for the cabbage. No matter what I did the varmints could eat'em faster than I could set'em out.

But the squash and cukes are up, the tomatoes are starting to bloom and the red, yellow, green and banana peppers look fine. The okra, aka Candy around here, is starting to come up.

The downed trees and limbs have been cut and dispatched and things have dried out. I did lose the Texas Sweet onions I had out, most of them were just washed away but after seeing some of the other damage around here I feel blessed. Especially since a tornado passed us by less than a half mile away. The downed trees, with the signature "twist and snap" rather than just "blown over" are impressive. Some of'em are 24" or so in diameter. Just try and imagine the power it took to do that.

My alter ego, Poker Player, has a new scheme which he will share with you later.

Life is good.

Time for bed. Much to do tomorrow.

What else can a man want besides work? Most of the world's problems come from people who haven't anything to do, or plainly, don't want to do what needs to be done.

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

This is so dead on right...........

What happens when a fly falls into a cup of coffee.

The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Hat tip to Larry P!

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

Saved by the drug dealers?

Wow, so it wasn’t Turbo Timmy, the AIG rescue, the alphabet soup of Fed currency facilities or the currency swaps that saved the global banking system. The marginal suppliers of capital, according to the UN, were drug lords. That means that the UN is saying that the banks went into the money-laundering business on a much greater scale than before as a matter of survival. I would presume if this is accurate, it would also mean terrorist groups were able to more more money through the banking system.

From the Guardian:

Antonio Maria Costa, head of the UN Office on Drugs and Crime, said he has seen evidence that the proceeds of organised crime were “the only liquid investment capital” available to some banks on the brink of collapse last year. He said that a majority of the $352bn (£216bn) of drugs profits was absorbed into the economic system as a result….

Costa said evidence that illegal money was being absorbed into the financial system was first drawn to his attention by intelligence agencies and prosecutors around 18 months ago. “In many instances, the money from drugs was the only liquid investment capital. In the second half of 2008, liquidity was the banking system’s main problem and hence liquid capital became an important factor,” he said.

Link Naked Capitalism

So it wasn't the "Masters of the Universe" who saved us? It was their dope dealers?

But hey, that's from the same organization that tells us Global Warming is destroying us.

Hat tip to SeeEmDee at Talk Left.

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

On who Kagan is

In her capacity as editorial chairman during her junior and senior years, Kagan spent nearly every evening at the ‘Prince’ newsroom. But Bernstein cautioned that Kagan likely did not write all the editorials. “That wasn’t her style ... She was a very collaborative person,” he said.

One set of unsigned editorials published in the spring of 1980, written in response to the federal government’s discussion of reinstating draft registration, attacked the militaristic identity the country was headed toward. The nation was “unfortunately” moving toward “an era in which myopic and over-sensitive ‘national pride’ precludes the thoughtful search for alternatives to an unnecessary draft registration,” it said.

How exciting. A President we knew nothing about before his election nominates someone to the SC who we will know nothing about before the confirmation.

Trust me. I'm from headquarters and I'm here to help you.

Link

And a hat tip to MKS over at Talk Left.

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

Frank Frazetta R.I.P. 1928-2010

I have always loved fantasy and science fiction. As a youngster it offerred the perfect escape away from dust and heat and not much else.

And part of this escape was the artwork.



Frazetta didn't get into fantasy until years after I had moved into the adult world but he had a talent that made him recognizable at a glimpse and an ability to bring fantasy heroes alive. What young male could not see himself standing on top of a pile of bones that use to belong to his enemies with a nubile succulent female wrapping herself around his feet?

Link

Unisex was not in his genes.

In the early years most science fiction and fantasy magazines were not adult nor intended to be. They were pulp magazines intended to fill an evening of reading much like most of the junk on TV is meant to be mind numbing time killers between 7 and 11. The artwork wasn't always great but it always moved.



And the girls were always beautiful and buxom but not to be argued with.



And then we had the girls dancing for their supper.... paid for by aliens... of course. But the sex was always on the cover and never between the covers. Like radio, it expanded the imagination.



And some of the girls were hotter than others.



Of course in its infancy, as shown in this February 1927 cover by Paul, the covers were more about adventure and the contents were, well, much the same as they would be 20 years later.



And by 1992 the view of the universe had expanded as shown in this cover of a child watching an alien friend blowing bubbles. Peaceful yet threatening it almost has an "Alice In Wonderland" feeling.



But was sex out? No.



Sometimes I will have to do a post or so on the artists that made the stories better. And here's to the ones that made us grasp our quarters and gleefully pay for the latest issue of Amazing, Startling, Planet and all the others.

On Twitter I am Lesabre1

You don't need no education

and apologies to Pink Floyd.

And we all thought he was protesting the Right.

Well, just as Nixon was the only one that could go to China, Obama is the only one who can say things like this.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: "Meanwhile, you're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don't rank all that high on the truth meter. With iPods and iPads; Xboxes and PlayStations; information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment. All of this is not only putting new pressures on you; it is putting new pressures on our country and on our democracy."

LInk to video of speech.

This should send a real chill up your leg, past your waist and to the top of your head screaming, "Danger! Danger!"

And it should tell you what The Chosen One thinks of your ability to rule yourself.

On Twitter I am Lesabre1